“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness?”
My life is a testimony to the reasons why this particular scripture is a sound warning spoken out of love from a perfect Father’s heart.
When I met my husband, I knew we were spiritually mismatched. It’s not that he totally lacked faith—it’s that we were on very different spiritual planes. And yet, I chose to proceed in our relationship despite what I had learned about unequally yoked relationships.
Now, I have never regretted my choice to marry my husband, and I’m proud that our 9th wedding anniversary is soon approaching. We’ve faced marital storms just like any other couple does, equally yoked or not. However, I’ve experienced many painful lessons as a consequence of my choice to knowingly marry someone who is not on the same spiritual level.
We have had normal marital disagreements about topics such as finances, private vs. public school, or handling conflict with extended family. Since I am a committed Christian, all of those problems have a spiritual component, and I seek out God’s will in all my decisions. My husband is not attuned that way; so when we have a disagreement it causes strife because he doesn’t naturally approach the problem by consulting God first as I do. If I feel my husband’s point of view is against God’s will, it’s difficult for him understand that while I want to honor him and submit to him, I must obey God first. He, on the other hand, feels like I have an unfair advantage because God and me are ganging up on him, and who is he to go up against God?
Even though I knew we weren’t equally yoked before we married, I never could have understood how difficult a path I was choosing, one that would cause conflict with every single decision. That’s why this verse is a warning spoken out of love, not out of killjoy.
All things considered, God has worked all things together for the good (Romans 8:28) in my spiritually mismatched marriage. I have grown in unique ways through my marriage trials, and I can minister to other women in similar situations. And I’ve seen gradual changes in my husband’s faithwalk as I have learned to back off and allow God to work in his life. I am also providing a testimony to my children of a wife who lives out the principles in 1 Peter 3. No matter if my husband ever catches up to me spiritually, I can show him love and respect, and that is a powerful witness of God’s love to him.
I listen to Dr. Randy Carlson’s radio program, and often people in spiritually mismatched marriages call in and ask if they chose the wrong marriage path. He tells them they are asking the wrong question. The question now is, “How am I going to show Christ to my unbelieving spouse and follow through on the vows I made to him?” Applying that question to my life has caused tremendous growth for which I can praise God.
If you are in an unequally yoked relationship, what’s the Christlike action you need to take?
Copyright 2009
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Hey, unequally-yoked friend. I understand and value your encouragement. I am in a similar place as you; and after 27 years of marriage, continually learning when to speak; when to keep silent; and, maybe even, when to let Someone speak for me. I've wondered about the relationship of Abraham and Sarah. Unequally-yoked or growing at different speeds?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement Bonnie! I find your observation of Abraham and Sarah totally new and thought-provoking. I will think about that and get back to you again. Thanks for reading!
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