2 Corinthians 7:10

“For God can use sorrow in our lives to help us turn away from sin and seek salvation. We will never regret that kind of sorrow. But sorrow without repentance is the kind that results in death.”

Do you know the definition of repentance? It means to go in the opposite direction, a 180 degree turn. Often God uses sorrow or sadness or pain to get us to the point where we realize our need to turn around and do something new. None of us look forward to pain, or godly sorrow, but if that’s what it takes to grow, it’s good.

Look in the two previous verses—Paul says he doesn’t regret the previous letter he sent to the Corinthians, though it was painful. He says in verse 9, “Now I am glad I sent it, not because it hurt you, but because the pain caused you to have remorse and change your ways.” That’s how God is with us; he doesn’t allow pain because he enjoys seeing us suffer, but because he wants us to become more like Christ. And he knows that pain really gets our attention.

This verse applies so perfectly in a parenting context. If you’re a godly parent, you take no joy in seeing your children suffer for their mistakes. But discipline is necessary to teach them right from wrong and to choose the correct path. I don’t look forward to the times I must discipline my children, but I do it because I know if I don’t, they will continue in the same mistakes and cause chaos in our home.

I have naturally calm-natured children who don’t test the limits all that often. But they are human, and so am I, and we’ve had our own godly sorrows in discipline. One really awful day, I was trying desperately to complete dozens of sales calls in one afternoon to meet a deadline. Even though my boys were only 4 and 2, they were keenly aware of my task and decided to act out. I went to the basement for just a few minutes, and when I got back upstairs, cool ashes from the woodstove were scattered all over the living room floor. They had never touched the woodstove before—I knew they were doing it because they wanted attention, but I had to teach them that seeking attention in that way was totally unacceptable. I sent them to their room for a time-out; my mistake was not separating them. In just a few minutes I heard a lot of noise coming from their room, and when I checked, I found my 4-year-old helping my 2-year-old climb into the sock drawer inside the closet. I spanked them both, then left one in the room and one in another room for more than an hour. They have never committed the same transgressions again, so I suppose the sorrow was appropriate enough to teach them not to repeat the sin.

It’s humbling to know that God disciplines me the same way I discipline my children—except he does it perfectly and I don’t. I have had to suffer the consequences of being overweight (bigger clothes, feeling tired and unhappy, being self-conscious in social situations) to turn my habits around to healthy ones. I’m glad that God is so gracious to us, and so patient with us, to use our sorrows for our good.

In what area are you suffering from godly sorrow, and what do you need to do to repent?

Copyright 2009